When an email pops in saying “possible fodder for your column,” I pay attention.
Teresa of Omaha (not to be confused with the Saint Teresa of Avila) has been a close friend since we were 15. She helped organize all of our class reunions and, now that we are in the autumn of our years, she makes sure I know who is still here and who has passed on.
Teresa lost her husband Pat last year and is part of my growing list of “W” friends. In spite of the aches and pains of getting older and losing our mates, we are both determined to hang onto our collective sense of humor. She is 100 percent Irish Catholic, and most of the fodder she sends is OK for a family newspaper. I hope the following doesn’t shock your socks off. Read on:
• • •
There were two nuns. One was known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other was Sister Logical (SL). They were out walking one day, and it started getting dark, but they were still far away from their convent.
SM: “Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the last 38 minutes? I wonder what he wants.”
SL: “It’s logical. He wants us.”
SM: “Oh no! At this rate, he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do?”
SL: “The only logical thing to do, of course, is to walk faster.”
(A few minutes later)
SM: “It’s not working.”
SL: “Of course it’s not working. He did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster too.”
SM: “So what should we do? At this rate, he will reach us in one minute.”
SL: “The only logical thing we can do is split up. You go that way and I will go this way. He cannot follow us both.”
The man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrived at the convent, worried about what happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrived about 10 minutes later.
SM: “Sister Logical, thank the Lord you are here. Tell me what happened.”
SL: “The only logical thing happened. The man could not follow us both, so he followed me.”
SM: “Yes, yes, but what happened then?”
SL: “I started to run as fast as I could, but he started to run as fast as he could.”
SL: “He reached me.”
SM: “Oh dear. What did you do?”
SL: “The only logical thing to do. I lifted my skirts.”
SM: “Oh, Sister! What did that man do?”
SL: “He lowered his trousers.”
SM: “Oh no! What happened then?”
SL: “Isn’t it logical, Sister? A woman with her skirts up can run faster than a man with his pants down.”
• • •
Teresa says those of you who assumed this was going to be risqué should say two rosaries.
Final thought: I had zero knowledge of Saint Teresa of Avila, so I looked her up. Several interesting quotes are attributed to her, and here is one to make you think: “There are more tears shed over answered prayer than are shed over unanswered prayer.”
Thanks to Teresa of Omaha for making our day.