Much of the fun of writing this column is getting mail from readers — mail that often leaves me smiling with surprise. Last week’s column featured a day brightener from a local woman who wished to remain anonymous. Yesterday, I received the following email: “Dear Bobbie: I don’t think I am as old as you and Mrs. Anonymous, but I do have a healthy sense of humor and wish to contribute the following. There is so much negative nonsense going on in the world these days, and I think everyone needs a good laugh. I hope you will consider my day brightener worth sharing with your readers. I am a local guy who looks forward to the Friday paper as many of us do, but I am a private person, so just say this came from “Mr. Anonymous.”
Okay Mr. A., I will respect your wishes. Here goes:.
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Singers of the ’60s are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate us aging baby-boomers. New releases include:
Herman's Hermits — Mrs. Brown, You've Got A Lovely Walker
Ringo Starr — I Get By With A Little Help From Depends
The Bee Gees — How Can You Mend A Broken Hip?
Roberta Flack — The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face
Johnny Nash — I CAN'T See Clearly Now.
Paul Simon — Fifty Ways To Lose Your Liver
The Commodores — Once, Twice, 3 Times To The Bathroom
Leo Sayer — You Make Me Feel Like Napping
The Temptations — Papa's Got A Kidney Stone
Abba — Denture Queen
Helen Reddy — I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore
Lesley Gore — It's My Hormones & I'll Cry If I Want To
And last but not least...
Willie Nelson — On the Commode Again
• • •
As an aging baby boomer myself, this whole thing made me laugh. Thanks, Mr. A, for making our day.
Bobbie Lippman is a professional writer who lives in Seal Rock with her cat, Purrfect. She is the author of “Good Grief: A Collection of Stories As One Woman Journeys From Heartbreak To Healing Through Honesty and Humor.” The book, with all proceeds going to the Rotary International Foundation, is available at JC Market in Newport and directly from Bobbie, who can be contacted at [email protected]