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Bobbie’s Beat

Posted: Friday, Mar 15th, 2013


Bobbie Lippman


Texas has the

right idea

Have you ever been burglarized?  We have, and here’s the story.  Once upon a time we lived in the hills overlooking the San Fernando Valley. It was a nice house at the end of a long driveway. No fencing.  We were owned by two Siamese pussycats and two gy-normous but wimpy dogs that may as well have been pussycats. One was a Great Dane named Brutus, and the other a Russian wolfhound named Czarina.  Neither dog bothered to bark if someone came to the door.

On the day in question, I left the pets enjoying the sun in the backyard and took off at noon to run errands. One hour later, I drove up the driveway, walked to the front door and started putting my key in the lock.  Well, duh.  It slowly dawned on me that there was no lock – just a big hole where the lock had been.  But I walked into the house anyhow, my brain not registering danger, only befuddlement. With my arms full of groceries, I stared into our living room, finally realizing the television set had disappeared.  Like a zombie I walked toward the kitchen, but my feet took me to our bedroom where every drawer and closet door stood open with stuff all over the floor.  That’s when reality set in and my heart started pounding.  I ran across the street to call 9-1-1 and Burt.  You just do not know how you are going to act or react when these things happen.

Here’s what I know for sure all these years later.  Burt came racing home from work.  It took the police at least three or four hours to show up.  They dusted for fingerprints and took notes regarding things stolen, but this is where it gets totally shocking. A neighbor, who lived directly above us, came to the door and told us and the police that she watched the whole thing from her window.

“Why the hell didn’t you call us?” demanded a policeman.

“Well,” she whined, “I’m still worried about those Manson murders, and I didn’t want to get involved.”  We all just stared at her in disbelief.  But she was an odd duck anyhow, and we rolled our eyes in disgust.  The police came back later and made our neighbor look at a sheet of photographs showing known criminals.  We were also asked to look at the pictures.  Turns out the couple who robbed our home were drug addicts who were also police informers of drug dealers.  By the time the cops caught up with them, they had fenced our belongings.  

It is a well-known fact in California that many people do not know their neighbors.  But we certainly got to know ours because we soon discovered every house on the street had been burglarized, including the home of the odd duck lady.  We got involved in Neighborhood Watch, attended meetings (where I sat and glared at the odd duck lady), but the feelings of having been invaded lingered on. What you feel is a combination of fear, anger, frustration and sadness. Then we got out of there and moved to Oregon. 

After the last of the big wimpy dogs passed on, we switched to Dobermans, who also had pussycat personalities, but certainly did not LOOK harmless.  We even put up a sign next to our fenced front gate showing two ferocious looking Dobies with these words:  “WE CAN MAKE IT TO THE FENCE IN 3 SECONDS. CAN YOU?” We still have that sign and still miss the Dobermans.  At least Charley, our standard Poodle, barks his brains out if someone even approaches the front door.   A few things triggered this subject today, such as hearing about recent burglaries in Newport, plus a close friend describing how it felt to find her car broken into while on vacation.  Since I refuse to leave you with all this negative knowledge, here is a day brightener that showed up in my email.

• • •

Texas security system

 How to install a Texas home security system

1. Go to Goodwill and purchase a pair of size 14-16 men’s work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:  “Bubba:  Me, Marcel, Jimmie Ray and Earl went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don’t mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don’t think Killer took part, but it’s hard to tell because of all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of ‘em in the house, so best you wait outside.  Be back in an hour. – Cooter”

• • •

That’s it for today.  Another great thing about living here is the fact we know our neighbors, and we all watch out for one another.  We thought about putting up that dog sign, but you know how smart poodles are – and Charley says he is sick and tired of hearing about those doggone Dobermans.



Bobbie Lippman is a professional writer who lives in Seal Rock with her husband, Burt, their dog, Charley, and a shelter cat named Lap Sitter. Bobbie can be contacted at bobbisbeat@aol.com

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