Are you ready for this?
You steady readers know I sometimes share with you the best of the stuff that shows up on my computer. The following came from several people and the email says these are actual questions on last year’s GED (General Education Diploma) test including the actual answers given by 16-year-old American students. I have chosen just a few out of about 40. Due to this being a family newspaper, I left out the answers that would make your hair curl.
Q. Name the four seasons:
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. What happens when you get old?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q. How can you delay milk from getting sour?
A. Keep it in the cow.
Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie.
Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. What you will be after you be 8.
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water flows toward the moon because there is no water on the moon and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house, they will insist that you be well endowed.
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A. A flirtation device that makes water safe to drink because it removes pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q. What are steroid?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘caesarian section.’
A. The caesarian section is a district in Rome.
I would like to think the answers you read are just a tiny minority of how kids think.
Better yet, let us hope this whole thing is someone’s idea of an email hoax. And if you got a laugh out of it, as I did, then let’s just say it made our day.
Bobbie Lippman is a professional writer who lives in Seal Rock with her husband, Burt, their dog, Charley, and a shelter cat named Lap Sitter.
Bobbie can be contacted at
firstname.lastname@example.orgFor the complete article see the 07-06-2012 issue.
Click here to purchase an electronic version of the 07-06-2012 paper.
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